The Rocking Chair
by poisonnwine
Summary: "A rocking chair" examined a very pregnant Spencer Hastings, the cracking in her voice, harmonizing with the creaks of the floor boards, under her unsteady feet.


"_A rocking chair" _examined a very pregnant Spencer Hastings, the cracking in her voice, harmonizing with the creaks of the floor boards, under her unsteady feet.

"You don't like it?" asked her husband, noticing the evident change in her voice, and the way her smile had fallen off of her face at the second she had said the three words.

"It's wonderful, it is." said Spencer, sucking in a sharp breath of air, and averting her eyes towards her husband instead of the haunting rocking chair a feet steps away from her. She touched his arm, "It's great." Spencer feigned a smile, but her eyes told a different story. They spoke of mournfulness and wrecking, withered away pain, and heartache. And all this packaged away dread, it was triggered by a rocking chair.

"Spence, are you sure you are okay?" asked her husband, skeptically, he knew her well. They dated for ten years, before Spencer agreed to marrying him, and then a few months after they were married, they were blessed with what was beyond the baby bump, on Spencer's stomach—at least he thought he knew her well. Truly, he was clueless. Her past was ambiguous to him, all he knew was that she had been broken, until she met him. He never pressed for details, the past was the past, and he had one of his own.

They met on Spencer's twentieth birthday—except it wasn't exactly a _happy _birthday. Spencer was moping away, per usual, at the local bar, to the bartender whom had grown to know she was under the legal drinking, but didn't really care. Her future husband had shown up at the bar that, already drunk, and instigating a fight between some other man, who Spencer knew as Wralf—like her, he was a regular—Spencer was too drunk, to have a good sense of common sense, so she decided to step in the middle of the two. Luckily, she got away unharmed, and later that night ended up in bed with the guy who would change her life forever. Usually, her one night stands, would be exactly what they were; one night stands, but he kept showing up everywhere. First it was just the bar, then it was her AA meetings (her parents forced her to go, and let's just say she defiantly needed them, as did he) and somehow they became friends _with benefits._ Both were immune to love, they put up walls, and didn't let anyone in. But, as they both got better, they came to realize that maybe this _love _thing wasn't all too bad.

But, even though she loved her husband, and carried his baby, that didn't stop her from thinking about the guy whom completely rerouted her life: Toby Cavanaugh. He was her first love, the guy who taught her what love feels like, and at of all the things he did, she decided that, _that; _teaching her what being in love feels like, was the worst thing he has ever done to her. (and trust me, he's down a lot of awful things to her) yet, even after all those things, she could never process the feeling of hatred for him. Sure, there was anger, but never hate. Although, whenever she thinks of him now, it's always just a sad feeling that comes on. It takes her back to the person who she was before him, and how education, and people, and blah blah blah, all mattered so much to her. Toby's betrayal changed who she was, and the people that once knew her, back in high school, now didn't.

She didn't speak to her family at all, really, if she would even call those fucking dysfunctional maniacs family. Her friends were her real family ( and of course her husband, and incoming daughter were too) although, her friends mostly looked at her, like they didn't know her. And they were right; they didn't. They tried to comfort her in high school, and the years after high school that followed, but you can only comfort someone for so long until it becomes old. Until that person you are comforting just becomes pathetic. Her friends moved on, but Spencer didn't, and she didn't try bring them down with her, they didn't deserve that.

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked her husband, after studying her for a really long time. She took in a deep breath, and kept her eyes on the rocking chair. It was torture really, who thought a rocking chair, would end up being an A in her life.

"Yeah." said Spencer, calmly. She was good at keeping her feelings in tact. She barely ever shed a tear. "I'm just kind of thirsty. Will you be a doll, and go fetch me some ice water."

"Of course, madam." answered her husband, leaving a kiss on her cheek before exiting the room.

Once she was gone, she decided to take a closer step towards the chair. It was beautifully crafted, truly, but not as beautiful as the one Toby made her. Or maybe it was just because Toby made her it that made it more beautiful.

_A fucking rocking chair._

__Of course.

She figured she was going to have to face it sometime, especially with a baby on the way, but she didn't think it would feel like_this. _She felt depressed. She hadn't been for a while, but a single look at the chair, and boom, the trigger was pulled.

In an odd way, it just felt out of place. It wasn't even that it brought up the memory of him, and all the things he did. It was more reminding her of the things he_ didn't_ do, or rather they didn't do. They never got to really use that rocking chair, sure, they put clothes, and towels, and random junk on it, but they never used it properly. And they never would.

Maybe that was the worst part. Her whole future she pictured with him was officially gone. The reality was kicking in that they weren't going to end up together, and see each other when they turn old and grey.

That rocking chair he made her was just a waste. Maybe that was the worst part.


End file.
